MLM Directory

My husband's therapist wants him to start taking short walks in the community is it a good idea?

He is the stay at home partner but has a fear of going anyplace without me. I have to work because I'm the breadwinner. On weekends he's really brave about leaving our apartment and we love to go to the beach or the park. The problem is that he will never go to those places alone without me accompanying him. Sometimes I feel like his mother but I really don't mind because I love him soooo much. On Sunday we were at the beach and I needed to use the restroom. It's usually a fairly fast trip, go in sit down , take care of business and leave again. This time there were some females preening and carrying on and doing who knows what and they held everyone up. I had to wait in line and when I got back he was shaking and looked a mess. He practically jumped at me and started tearing up and said he was really worried about me. I asked him why didn't he go over to the building with the restrooms and he said he didn't feel like getting up. He feels safe driving to the market and to his bi weekly therapy appointments but will not go anywhere else Without Me. He was sexually and physically abused by his step father from childhood through adolescence. I met him in the 9th grade and I wanted my parents to let him live with us because the physical and mental abuse was done openly. He recently disclosed the Horrors of the sexual abuse which no one knew about before. My parents refused for legal reasons to allow him to stay with us. When we both graduated from high school I decided that I was going to take him away from the horrors that we expreirnced and we immediately got married. I was thinking instead of short walks could he meet me at McDonalds or Burger King which are about half way home from my work. I could call him when I am leaving work. I walk to work and home becasue my job is alow paying clerical job in a law firm and we try to save anyway we can. McDonald's I believe has iced tea so it would not cost too much for him and I to buy drink there. Plus it would be fun to share a drink together like two love sick lovebirds lol lolo.

Public Comments

1. It's a good idea it will give him some fresh air.
2. I hope he is receiving proper medication along with therapy. This is what helped me the most.
3. short walks is a good idea. meeting u somewhere is good 2. try them both. good luck.
4. yea i think that he should do the walk.
5. Yes, since his therapist suggested it.
6. Not sure why this just popped into my head, but I'll offer it up to you: How would he feel about having a dog? Maybe see about getting a rescue dog that he could take with him on his walks which might make him feel more secure when you aren't around. The dog would love the walks and having time with his "buddy" - It might be beneficial to both of them ... Just a thought. Good Luck to you both.
7. Sounds like a logical solution to me. It appears he can handle the outside by himself if at the end of the designation he will be meeting someone.
8. Here's what I think.... Are you a licensed therapist? If not, I'm not sure that your opinion is what's important here... If you all aren't going to listen to the therapist's recommendations, then the 'therapy' is not going to work. Step back, and support your husband in accomplishing the tasks that he needs to accomplish according to his therapist's recommendations.
9. I think he needs to learn to do things without you. It would appear that part of the problem is his dependence of you and not just a fear of leaving the house. Also, based on your stated history, I have to believe that part of your feelings for him are because of his psychological problems. I wonder if you are worried that if he becomes more independent if he will love you less (or you him).
10. yes and he should start really small, like standing on the door step five minutes for a week, then moving up to one hundred paces next week then two hundred paces, it is important for him to be independant, bless you for loving your mate
11. That sounds like a great idea! Baby steps are the best ways to fixing phobias. If he doesn't do well with this, try leaving and going to a place not as far away and having him walk to you. But he is in therapy? Is the therapist working to address the problems that occurred early in his life or just the not being with you problem? If not, then I would suggest finding another therapist who will because this seems to be the root of the current problem. You could ask the therapist about healing techniques and activities and such. Good luck and I hope he overcomes this!
12. Does he have agoraphobia? If so, the short walks are an excellent idea. In this way, he can slowly build up his confidence. Has he testified against his stepfather? That would be a big step in giving him back some power. You sound like a wonderful person. He is lucky you came into his life. Perhaps you could sit in on some of his therapy sessions and make suggestions.
13. Ok first of all- way too much information in the description of your question. Second of all- the therapist will know what he is doing and why would it not be a good idea?! The doc must think he is ready for a walk ALONE. I thought your idea was good as well, you can do both, every little will help. But in your idea, you are still involved and the goal is to get him to be independent again. No you involved. Beware of codependency or hindering him from progressing because you actually like somebody depending on you. Not saying that's what you do- but it is a danger
14. do exactly what the therapist says. dont change the routine! the therapist knows what he is doing.
15. If you love him you need to let him have time away from your house and your sphere of influence. Being the sun and the moon and the stars to him is a high for you. It is wonderful he has you and you helped him break away from the horrors of his childhood, but now you must let him slowly become a man. You have to let the therapist do his/her job, as long as this person is a professional and has been of help to your husband. If your husband is ever going to have any sense of recovery from his crippling agoraphobia the healing will have some discomfort. You sad it in your question yourself, do you want to remain 'love sick love birds'? or do you want to be a loving support for a wonderful person you saw as a diamond in the roughs of a terrible situation in 9th grade? Best of luck in this.
16. It sounds like the therapist is trying to instigate exposure therapy with your husband. It's when you gradually expose yourself to whatever you are scared/anxious about but in really small increments, gradually increasing exposure as confidence builds. It's a really common and rather successful technique but it's important that it is carried out as a partnership between your hubby and his therapist. You may have the very best of intentions but the therapy can only work if it is carried out in a fashion agreed with the therapist. You relally shouldn't interfere with anything that takes pace between him and the therapist.
17. Wow! that so sad iv never herd of anything like that before. If he's a GROWN MAN he needs to get over his fears and move on with his life. He ant no baby, I understand he got some past problems but let it go! Dag your a really good wife and that's nice how much you care for him. And as for your question like i sed if he a grown man he should be scared to leave the house w/out you, now that's just crazy! gud luck to you both and may God bless you.